I'm starting to collect jokes and riddles that will appeal
only to a limited audience. These will require specialist
knowledge of various types, and will most likely be
uninteresting, and certainly unfunny, to almost everyone.
But I like them. Probably too much.
 A friend who's in liquor production
 Has a still of exquisite construction:
 The alcohol boils
 Through magnetic coils,
 She says that it's proof by induction!
(Adapted from a comment on reddit)

 I say, I say, I say  my dog's got synaesthesia.

There was a composer named Glass,
Philip Glass, Philip Glass, Philip Glass,
Philip Glass, Philip Glass,
Philip Glass, Philip Glass,
Philip Glass, Philip Glass, Philip Glass.

Dr Schroedinger ...
We may have a problem.

What's an anagram of BanachTarski?
 BanachTarski BanachTarski.

What does the "B" stand for in "Benoit B Mandelbrot"?
"Benoit B Mandelbrot"

Two mathematicians are in a bar. The first one says to the second that
the average person knows very little about basic mathematics. The second
one disagrees, and claims that most people can cope with a reasonable
amount of math.
The first mathematician goes off to the washroom, and in his absence
the second calls over the waitress. He tells her that in a few minutes,
after his friend has returned, he will call her over and ask her a
question. All she has to do is answer one third x cubed.
She repeats "one thir  dex cue"?
He repeats "one third x cubed".
She says, "one thir dex cuebd"?
Yes, that's right, he says. So she agrees, and goes off mumbling to
herself, "one thir dex cuebd...".
The first guy returns and the second proposes a bet to prove his point,
that most people do know something about basic math. He says he will ask
the blonde waitress an integral, and the first laughingly agrees. The
second man calls over the waitress and asks "what is the integral of x squared?".
The waitress says "one third x cubed" and while walking away, turns back
and says over her shoulder "plus a constant!"



A young child came back from their first day at school
utterly distraught. "What's wrong?" asked their parent.
Through the tears came the answer: "No one would be my
friend."
Parent's sibling was nearby and went out, then came back
with a copy of the Periodic Table of Elements. "Here,
take this," was the instruction. "Carry it with you on
your way into and out of school, and all will be well."
Child was, understandably, confused, but did as instructed,
and came home the next day wreathed in smiles. "It worked!"
was the joyous refrain. "It Worked !!"
"What happened?" wondered the parent, and parental sibling
replied:
 "If you commute with all the elements
then you are in the centre of the group."

What do you get if you cross a sheep with
a kangaroo?
What do you get if you cross a mountaineer
with a mosquito?
 You can't cross a scalar with a vector.

What do you get if you cross an elephant with a giraffe?
 A trivial elephant bundle over a giraffe.

A: Because it messes up the order in which people normally read text.
 Q: Why is topposting such a bad thing?
A: Topposting.
 Q: What is the most annoying thing in email?

There are 11 types of people in the world, those
who can count in binary, and those who can't.

There are 10 types of people in the world,
those who understand hex and F others.

Knock Knock?
Who's there?
Knock Knock?
Who's there?
Knock Knock?
Who's there?
Knock Knock?
Who's there?
Knock Knock?
Who's there?
Knock Knock?
Who's there?
Knock Knock?
Who's there?
Knock Knock?
Who's there?
Knock Knock?
Who's there?
Knock Knock?
Who's there?
Knock Knock?
Who's there?
Knock Knock?
Who's there?
Philip Glass


One angle in a quadrilateral said to its opposite
 If you're 24° what am I?
 How would I know, I'm not cyclic!

Why was the mathematician late for work?

Why do communists drink fruit tea?
 Because proper tea is theft.


Also: http://www.ams.org/notices/200501/feadundes.pdf
(if you dare ...)
My thanks
(or something) to:


