Limited Audience Jokes

   
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I'm starting to collect jokes and riddles that will appeal only to a limited audience. These will require specialist knowledge of various types, and will most likely be uninteresting, and certainly unfunny, to almost everyone.

But I like them.


  • I say, I say, I say - my dog's got synaesthesia.
    • How does he smell?
      • Purple.

There was a composer named Glass,
Philip Glass, Philip Glass, Philip Glass,
Philip Glass, Philip Glass,
Philip Glass, Philip Glass,
Philip Glass, Philip Glass, Philip Glass.

http://www.solipsys.co.uk/images/DrSchroedinger_WeMayHaveAProblem2.jpg

Dr Schroedinger ...
We may have a problem.

Two mathematicians are in a bar. The first one says to the second that the average person knows very little about basic mathematics. The second one disagrees, and claims that most people can cope with a reasonable amount of math.

The first mathematician goes off to the washroom, and in his absence the second calls over the waitress. He tells her that in a few minutes, after his friend has returned, he will call her over and ask her a question. All she has to do is answer one third x cubed.

She repeats "one thir -- dex cue"?

He repeats "one third x cubed".

She says, "one thir dex cuebd"?

Yes, that's right, he says. So she agrees, and goes off mumbling to herself, "one thir dex cuebd...".

The first guy returns and the second proposes a bet to prove his point, that most people do know something about basic math. He says he will ask the blonde waitress an integral, and the first laughingly agrees. The second man calls over the waitress and asks "what is the integral of x squared?".

The waitress says "one third x cubed" and while walking away, turns back and says over her shoulder "plus a constant!"

My thanks
(or something) to:

What's an anagram of Banach-Tarski?
  • Banach-Tarski Banach-Tarski.

What does the "B" stand for in "Benoit B Mandelbrot"?
  • "Benoit B Mandelbrot"

What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo?

  • A woolly jumper

What do you get if you cross a mountaineer with a mosquito?

  • You can't cross a scalar with a vector.

What do you get if you cross an elephant with a giraffe?
  • A trivial elephant bundle over a giraffe.

A: Because it messes up the order in which people normally read text.
  • Q: Why is top-posting such a bad thing?
A: Top-posting.
  • Q: What is the most annoying thing in e-mail?

There are 11 types of people in the world, those who can count in binary, and those who can't.

There are 10 types of people in the world, those who understand hex and F others.

 
  Knock Knock?
    Who's there?
  Knock Knock?
    Who's there?
  Knock Knock?
    Who's there?
  Knock Knock?
    Who's there?
  Knock Knock?
    Who's there?
  Knock Knock?
    Who's there?
  Knock Knock?
    Who's there?
  Knock Knock?
    Who's there?
  Knock Knock?
    Who's there?
  Knock Knock?
    Who's there?
  Knock Knock?
    Who's there?
  Knock Knock?
    Who's there?
  Philip Glass
One angle in a quadrilateral said to its opposite
  • If you're 24° what am I?
    • How would I know, I'm not cyclic!

Why was the mathematician late for work?
  • She took the rhombus.

Why do communists drink fruit tea?
  • Because proper tea is theft.

Also: http://www.ams.org/notices/200501/fea-dundes.pdf



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